stereotypical single woman

Today is the first official day of spring break. What exactly is on a stereotypical single woman’s wild agenda for this week?

• Go on a shopping spree and foolishly spend my entire tax rebate on one thing - my next six months of car insurance.
• Sleep eight hours every night. I cannot begin to convey how much I am looking forward to this.
• Clean my apartment. It’s beyond being called a mess. If anyone had stopped by unexpectedly in the last two weeks they would have had every right to wonder why there were multiple socks lying on the kitchen floor. And, judging from the significant coating of dust, had clearly been there for a while. If they had dared mention this to me I would have looked them straight in the eye, sighed, and, without hesitation, lied to their face; telling them that Marty put them there and the little asshole refuses to pick them up. Being labeled as a bad liar is preferable to being labeled as an adult that willingly lives in this pigsty.
• Visit the new Grand Rapids Art Museum. Very excited about this.
• Go to the Apple Store and have the hunks at the Genius Bar figure out why
  
  • Apple Mail crashes every time I open it, and
    
  • a small crack is starting to appear on my handrest, and then
    
  • stare at them, drooling, while they in their infinite wisdom and hotness fix my problems and become my heroes, leaving me no choice but to have multiple sexual fantasies about them over the next week or so. Really looking forward to this.
    
• Work on some of the homework that professors like to add right before a break, specifically finding out the entymology of the word “puh-leez” and the estimated earliest date the word “towel” was used.
• Work on a group paper about the diffusion of information in differing online social networks, oddly enough this actually interests me.
• Mentally prepare myself for the intense push that is the last month of the semester. This is a complicated ritual that involves a lot of wine, food that is bad for me, and friends who aren’t in grad school.
• Did I mention spending a significant amount of time fantasizing about the guys at the Genius Bar?
• Fill out some school paperwork that I’ve been putting off for the last two semesters, ’cause I just realized that I’m almost halfway done and would like to be able to graduate next winter.
• Knit or spin something. Anything. Just not spend time in front of the computer.
  
• Spend some quality time with the boys.