stereotypical single woman

One of the many reason I chose to work in theatre for such a long time was because it attracted interesting people. I could live with the low pay, uneasiness about where the next paycheck was coming from, and the constant stress to produce miracles out of thin air as long as I knew that I was going to be surrounded by characters - on stage and off. And I was never disappointed, I have all kinds of stories to tell my future grandkids whenever their parents leave the room. These weirdos and drama queens are one of the things I’ve missed most since leaving the profession.

But since I’ve started working in a public library I’ve started discovering a whole new subset of characters. People who are unintentionally dramatic or in ridiculous situations. People that ask/make me to help them do things that were definitely not in the job description. So far I have

1. helped two different men (who could barely read) write personal ads and upload pictures. And then had to turn them down when they asked me out.
2. showed a very loud and cranky 90 year old man how to upload pictures from a flash drive onto his MySpace photo album, only to discover that it was porn once it was uploaded.
3. argued with a mentally challenged middle-aged woman about the contents of my desk drawer - she wanted to borrow a hi-liter. But not the one I offered. That one was too bright. And not the pink one either. I had a dull yellow one. She knew I did, I just didn’t want her to use it. We had it when she was here last month, and I was a bitch who shouldn’t be working at the library.
4. watched as a young woman, while checking her email, pulled up her top, took out a nipple ring, and started breastfeeding an infant. Only to be asked, while this was happening, to show her how to attach a file to an email. Now, if you have to breastfeed, fine. But a) don’t leave your nipple ring on the counter next to the keyboard, b) wouldn’t you be more comfortable sitting in one of the lounge chairs away and from the questionable men staring at your boobs?, and c)seriously, shouldn’t you be concentrating on feeding your child at that point, not emailing someone?
5. had to referee a fight between two women over the last loaner pair of germ-ridden public headphones.
6. proof-read a resume for someone who has a PhD, but couldn’t operate Word.

Yeah, after 30 years of this I’m going to have lots of stories for my grandkids. Well, that’s if I ever have any kids…. If not at least I’ve got my nieces. Oh, and since I mentioned it, go check out my sister’s new house!