stereotypical single woman

My homepage is iGoogle. I like it, you can personalize it with little modules. You can change it on a whim. It shows me when I have new Gmail. And since Google is so good at indexing the web, and it’s database software is so sophisticated, it can show relevant suggestions of sites and videos you may like based on your previous searches, which allows you to find some really good stuff. Google can get to know you really well. Actually, as I’ve just found out, a little too well.

You know you’ve been single a really long time when, without even asking, Google starts showing you porn.

This is what my homepage looked like this morning. (NSFW - unless your boss and coworkers like this kinda stuff)

Yes, that is exactly what you think it is.

Go ahead, I know you want to, so take another look.

Oh, wait, you want to see more? Of course you do, I can’t tease you and not deliver the goods. I’m just not that kind of girl. Here’s the video. (not disgusting, just totally NSFW)

While I am generally impressed with how well Google learns my preferences, I am still wondering why I was shown this video. I’ll admit it, a sex-starved single woman like myself is going to be curious enough to watch that (over and over again) while drinking her morning cup of coffee. I’m not complaining, per se, more just very curious as to what made Google think I’d like it. Apparently something in my search history prompted it. I just have no idea what. I’m really not into fetishes. It also makes me want to go on the record stating that

1. I do not have a foot fetish. Shoes, yes. Feet, no. They are germy and not particularly attractive. There is absolutely no way I’d do a Google search for feet when I’m the kind of person who only looks at her own when I need to cut my toenails. Or when encased in a wonderful new pair of shoes.
2. While I have a sincere fondness for penises, I have never done a blatant Google search for them. I tend to like a little bit of a story line, however loosely written, in my porn. And there are much better ways to find it than doing a Google search.
3. Damn, I’m impressed at the dexterity in that woman’s feet.

From now on I think I’m going to have to treat Google like that socially-unaware friend without a filter. You have to be very careful about what you tell them otherwise they’re going to embarrass you publicly better than you ever could all by yourself. And you don’t know if it’s because they’re just stupid or really really evil truthful. It’s just better to click the box that says “Pause” in my web search history and keep some parts of my life private than to find out they found another video to share with me the next time I open my computer up at school.