stereotypical single woman

So last week I was sitting at work when the book The Cat I.Q. Test came across my desk. Being a sad crazy cat lady of course I had to take it out. If for no other reason to confirm the fact that Harvey is qualified to become the first feline president of Harvard and that Marty might need a medic alert bracelet for stupidity.

The book repeatedly stresses that the test is only for entertainment purposes; I’m sure to reassure those who believe their cat is a little genius and instead find that they have a cat that scores in the “needs to be reminded to inhale” range. Since I already knew I have at least one cat in that range I didn’t try to skew the results. So as I was answering the 75 multiple choice questions I was brutally honest. And while some of the questions were questionable and easily influenced by the owner’s opinion (”If your cat could read, which of the following newspapers would it probably buy?” Answers - Harvey A)The Wall Street Journal, Foster C)USA Today, Marty D)The National Enquirer, but only for the pictures) others were less biased, such as

58. There is a fly in the house. Your cat

• A) appears uninterested, but is ready to attack when the fly comes withing striking distance (Foster)
• B) ignores it altogether
• C) chases it incessantly (Harvey)
• D) looks as if to ask “what is a fly?” (Marty)

As was expected Harvey and Foster each scored quite high, a 214 and 199 respectively. This lands both of them in the “Possibly Brighter than You are” category, and that ranks their brains in the top 3% of the feline world. (so Harvard, you better act fast because he’s not adverse to working for Yale or MIT either, so it might turn into a bidding war) What floored me is that with a score of 151 Marty is at the high end of the “Extremely Intelligent” range. Yes, I double checked all the answers. Yes I re-added his score 5 times on different 3 different calculators. He really did score a 151, meaning that, according to this novelty book, he is in the top 8% of all feline minds. Apparently he is dumb only in comparison to the other two little geniuses in the house. Which leads me to the conclusion that this test is hopelessly flawed. Marty is just NOT that smart. (although it does comfort me to know that he’s most likely smarter than the president of the United States) I mean seriously, if he actually is in the top 8%, I’m amazed that the other 92% have been able to survive at all.

Sorry buddy, but you know I’m right about this.