stereotypical single woman

It’s late, I just got off an 8 hour shift at the library, and I have to be back in at 9 a.m. for another one so please excuse the brevity. Tonight’s post is nothing more than some captions I made up to go along with some pictures I stole off Nana’s camera of Amelia and her friend Armand (or as she calls him, Mand-armand), enjoy!

The Big Date

Amelia: Mand-Armand? Hi, it’s me Amelia. I think it’s time we took this friendship to the next level. I’m not really attracted to you, but since you’re my only guy friend, and I’m pushing the big 30-month old mark, the clock is ticking. So now that you’re my boyfriend you need to take me on a date. I’m thinking the Halloween Train - next Saturday afternoon, we’ll pick you up.

Armand: Ummm…okay, do I get to wear my train hat?

Amelia: As long as you get me drunk before you put it on in public.

Armand: What the fuck, you didn’t tell me this was chaperoned!

Amelia: Don’t worry, the old woman just had eye surgery. Right now she’s blind as a bat, it’ll be more like having a butler with a credit card. I promise, we’ll be able to get away with anything. If you’re nice you’ll even get you hold my hand.

Armand: Score!

Armand: This is………nice.

Amelia: Look, it’s not you had any great ideas……….And I think it’s fun in that retro country-craptacular way. By the way - what did I tell you about that hat????? Oh. My. God. I am so embarrassed right now………what if someone saw you?? And even worse, what if someone saw you wearing that while standing next to me????

Armand: sorry dear, just stay here and let me go get you a drink…….(under his breath) this hand holding better be good

Amelia: He better get it right, I swear if that cup has Sponge Bob on it instead of Dora I’m going to throw it in his face.

-20 minutes later-

Amelia: C’mere honey, I’m feeling a little funny, I need to lean on you.

Armand: Dude, the Aqua Doodle I slipped in the glass TOTALLY worked.