stereotypical single woman

For every man that has completely broken my heart I’ve taken something away from the relationship that I’ve made my own. The first man was a huge fan of the Barenaked Ladies, and while I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing (and I’m happy to say that I honestly don’t want to know) my love of that band still borders on religious zeal. Seriously, if you know me in person, you know that while my knowledge of music in general is limited my knowledge of them is encyclopedic.

The latest man to pulverize my heart was a Mac user. This was his version of loyalty to a sports team, it’s unwavering and he’ll carry it to his death. He practically had an orgasm at work the day the iPhone was unveiled. He’s even an active member of a Mac user group for God’s sake. (I’ve always thought this geekiness was an incredibly sexy and endearing quirk of his personality. He has a lot of them that I adored, and they just made me just want to rip his clothes off. It’s amazing that I ever got any work done at all with his desk ten feet away from mine.) After two and a half years of working with him and being inundated with his rhetoric (and staring at his ass) is it any surprise that this is what I bought today?

All together now “OOOHHHH, AAAAHHHHH!”

Honestly, I needed it for school because I have web classes that my current computer just can’t handle and I needed a laptop, but it’s very true that I could have just as easily bought a PC. (the Nano sort of stowed away with the laptop, they’re good friends - practically siblings really, so I couldn’t bear to separate the two of them after they begged me to give them both a home - plus I’m going to be doing a lot of driving across the state now and need to have NPR podcasts on hand, oh and it was FREE, as was the printer)

(and yes, the first music to go onto the Nano would be the BNL BLAM album - extended version of course)

I didn’t get the PC because I want to be a Mac user. It’s not because of him and the influence he had on me (please just humor me and my broken-hearted “he hasn’t had and will never have any future effect on me at all” delusions. It’s all part of the grieving process. Someday I’m hoping to get to the “meet for dinner and be able to have a normal face to face conversation with him without feeling like I want to break down sobbing and ask him to hold me just so I can smell him one last time” stage, but considering that I’m still now going in and out of the “so horrifically angry and upset about the whole situation that I’m seriously considering starting my own Fight Club” stage I think that if it’s even possible it’s years down the road), it’s because I weighed my options and chose it because it was the better value and system for my needs ( I mean, it can run Windows and Tiger simultaneously, what PC can do that?) And it’s so much cuter than any of the competition that it won the evening gown part of competition hands down. And once I saw that I could also get a Carolina Blue laptop bag, how could I resist? (I don’t care if this next degree is from Wayne State, I will be a Tarheel for the rest of my life)

I really wanted to call him today and ask him to go to the Apple Store with me to go pick everything up. Partly because I really respect his opinion and partly because I love watching his face light up when his inner geek gets excited. But I didn’t. Partly because I’m not sure if he’d have wanted to help me, but mostly because I need to make this my thing and, once I leave GR, for him to fade into my past so I can concentrate on my future.

UPDATE: My animals were significantly less excited about the purchase than I was.