stereotypical single woman

My Dearest 4GB Red iPod Nano,

I know we are still in the first week of our relationship (and consequently I just can’t keep my hands off you) but I honestly think this relationship will work in the long term. At least I am hoping it will. I simply had no idea the amount of joy you would add to my life.

You have turned the completely odious task of cleaning a bank into only a terribly unpleasant experience. I know that at times you feel inadequate compared to the 8GB model, but even at 4GB your astounding memory capacity allows me ample tunes to shake my rhythm-less white girl ass to and sing off-key with while cleaning up after a bunch of lazy slobs (and also provides endless amusement to anyone walking by the banks in the evening.)

Your touch sensitive click wheel amuses me to no end. Seriously, it just makes me giggle with girlish glee every time I use it.

Your bright red color is distinctive and lets the world know that not only is this product owned by someone that enjoys the color red but by someone who, in her middle-class consumerist American way, decided to help fight the spread of Aids in Africa by purchasing an electronic media player. (although she now feels guilty for doing so little)

Your tiny size fits perfectly into the little pocket on my jeans that would normally be reserved for a tampon.

I am now actually looking forward to the 200+ mile trips between Grand Rapids and Detroit where I will be able to spend uninterrupted quality time with you (provided we can find a worthy FM transmitter for our little threesome)

You are beautiful, strong, and almost perfect. The only thing that could add to your wonderfullness would be a vibrate option or attachment. The people at Apple really should look into that.

I will admit that I resisted this relationship for a very long time. I just didn’t think my life lacked because of the unavailability of music and podcasts 24/7. And yes, it’s true, the only reason I broke down and got you was because you were free (with a rebate) when I bought my beloved MacBook (who’s love letter is still being written. What can I say? Right now there’s no man in my life so all my love is being directed toward electronic gadgets. Lots and lots of wonderful electronic gadgets.) I now know how wrong I was, I can plainly see that I was only cheating myself out of years of iPod enjoyment. And isn’t that realization punishment enough? Please accept my apology for being such a fool.

your loving owner,
Sara