stereotypical single woman

Last night I started my second job. I’m working for a company that shall remain unnamed that cleans all the branches of another unnamed company in the area. It’s nothing exciting or super secretive, it’s just that I know some companies check blogs for any mentions they may receive (after this post three different people from DTE Energy checked my blog to read about me washing my bras - so obviously not one, but multiple people, are employed to surf the internet all day reading posts about that particular company or the people at DTE get their kicks off the weirdest stuff) (UPDATE- this particular post has been checked by the same people 7 times today. From now on I’m going to mention them in every post, just for fun) and I need the job too much right now to chance getting fired.

I was training with a nice enough supervisor (even though all night all I saw was old white man plumber’s crack, and I really don’t want to admit this but I had a dream about it last night, and it was one of the most disturbing dreams I’ve had in a very very long time, it still makes me shudder and kinda nauseous) and it was as good of an experience as you can expect to have when you’re learning how to be a janitor. Damn, I just realized that that’s what I am. Not that it’s a bad thing, working in the service industry is just as viable as any other job, but I still feel a little embarrassed about it. Not so much because of the work I’m doing, but because I need the second job in the first place. It’s not like I live an extravagant lifestyle or I’m trying to support a drug habit, I just want to be able to pay my bills and put food on the table and in my cats’ bowls. Yes, I do live alone, but I rent a house in low income neighborhood. I’ve put plastic on all my windows, keep the heat turned to 68, and turn off any lights when I’m not in a room to keep my utilities as low as possible. I rarely eat out except for the Friday lunches at work. I don’t have cable or an internet connection at home. All of this and still, at the age of 29, I, someone who has an education, needs a second job just to make ends meet.

The whole process of finding the job was degrading and humiliating. Again, not because of the nature of the work, but the groveling and self-promotion you need to do to get an entry level job in this area. I had to sit in an office with this creepy 24 yr old whose voice kept cracking while he was staring at my chest and listen to him explain how the company worked and the types of duties I would have to do if hired, and all I could do was smile and nod and pretend to look eager to start and be the best darn employee they ever had. And when I left and shook his hand he held on for just a little too long, and his had was just too soft and clammy, and instead of just letting go he slid his hand along mine, and I wanted to run out of there screaming and scrub my hands until they were raw and bleeding. I desperately didn’t want to have to go back but they’re the only place that offered me anything, so guess who had to go back there yesterday for orientation and listen to creepy boy again, sit in a room where I was the only one without a green card, and pretend to be overjoyed to get a lecture on the finer points of customer service?